As I’m about to prepare for yet another Araneta concert this weekend, I decided to share this little thought I’ve been erm…thinking of (wow, I’m fluent today, eh?) for quite a while. It’s just that when you’re out seeing concerts and gigs, it seems like a given to bring a camera, right? When I first saw David Cook and David Archuleta in Manila, there were cameras everywhere. It seems like people were watching on their cameras instead of looking at the stage. After that night, my friend and I started thinking that we shouldn’t do that, we shouldn’t spend the whole time recording everything.
Then again, that never happened. There’s always this frantic feeling that you need to start recording, or taking pictures as things happen in a concert. It’s not like their souvenirs or proof that you were there to show your friends — for me, it was something that could make me reminisce on how fun that night was. It was something that could allow me to replay things over and over until I’m satisfied. It was something that I could always go back into, just in case I needed it in the future.
One thing that I’ve always realized though is that, after the concert, I end feeling like I didn’t exactly experienced the whole thing. Partly because I spent the whole time minding my camera, and if I’m holding it right, and if my zoom’s fine, etc. Minding those just took the fun out of jumping up and down, singing along, or dancing around. So to make up for this ‘lack’ of experience, I go back on these recorded videos. While they may be entertaining, they’re just not how it really is back in the stadium.
And then I thought, it’s like dealing with life. We — okay, mostly I — spend most of our times thinking and worrying about the future, seeing if we are doing enough, saving enough, preparing enough for the big unknown that is the future. Having these thoughts to preoccupy the mind sort of ruins the present. It sort of distracts you from actually living in the moment. And then one day, you’re just gonna wake up, thinking, well, that’s that.
I’m not sure if I could stop myself from recording stuff or taking photos on concerts. I’m not sure if I could just relax, watch an event seriously, and not regret not taking a goddamn picture at the end of it. I’m too afraid to try. You know, when I was a bit younger, I had the strangest fear of regretting. I am not afraid to make mistakes, I am rather basically afraid of just regretting. That’s how much of a coward I am. And maybe that’s why I can’t stop myself from worrying about the future, and how my life’s gonna turn out, where will I end up, and what will I be doing. Honestly, those thoughts are driving me crazy, but I just can’t seem to stop myself.
Diane Birch – Rewind
I think I am starting to fall in love with Diane Birch so I might do a review for her album Bible Belt very soon. she makes me want to start sitting down in front of my keyboard.