What do you do when you realize that your “person” isn’t your “person” anymore?

a) Deny it and try to revive it by continuing to talk to them the same amount as you do (or as needed) when they were still your (air quotes needed) “person”.

b) Be passive aggressive by posting and writing and talking about stuff like this but never confront your “person”, cause that would be like, awkward and it might strain the whole thing more.

c) Listen to the xx’s “Coexist” a lot wherein tracks basically comprise of the lines “We used to be closer than this/ We used to be closer than this/ Is it something you miss?”; “Now it’s dead and gone/ You say what you would’ve done/ You would’ve been there/ I wish you’ve been there”; “I always thought it was a shame/ That we have to play these games”; “You leave with the tides/ And I can’t stop you leaving”.

d) Listen to Daughter’s “If You Leave” which is an even more depressing choice than The xx’s “Coexist”.

e) Pep talk yourself by thinking this is one of your ‘dead’ months and that like a phoenix, you both shall rise from the slump and reconnect like how you always do cause you never run out of new fun things to talk about anyway (fake enthusiasm).

f) Listen to Morrissey’s “You Have Killed Me” and have them in mind the whole time cause, you know, they are killing you…softly, with no words. That’s right, Roberta Flack. The lack of words and the lesser the blue speech bubbles on that chat thingy stings.

g) Think about it on your way out of work and tear up a little bit, but hold it back cause there are people around.

h) Create scenarios in your head where you confront the issue, type the words on the chat box but never press enter cause you don’t like answers. Answers are scary. Answers can be disappointing. Wondering is awesome. It gets you more creative. And paranoid. And crazy.

i) Mock your “person” in your head, roll your eyes at their once enthusiastic responses and advances, scoff at their recent posts that you now only know a tiny bit or none at all about, and then frown after that feeling of missing your “person” sinks in.

j) Instagram the shit out of stuff that reminds you of your “person” or add stupid lyrics like Coldplay’s “Warning Sign” and The Naked and Famous’ “No Way” while your skirt around vagueness so people wouldn’t be all, “What’s wrong?” You can’t construct the sentence to answer that question anyway.

k) Have an argument with yourself on whether or not it was even right to call them your “person” and question yourself how you can assign that kind of ‘role’ to someone and will probably take this all back in say, 15 minutes. Also, blame pop culture/ 80s films/ literature for creating that idea of having a “person”.

l) Get over it for a few hours but soon as they talk to you, you pretty much throw your progress rate out the window and be all Gretchen Weiners:

m) Repeat process of getting over it.

n) Truthfully, all of the above.

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